Uproar Theatrics - Witches!? In Salem?!

Witches!? In Salem?!

by Matt Cox

Type of Show

Full-length Play

Performance Type

Live

Digital

Acts

2 acts

Duration

130 min

Performing Groups

Professional Theatre

Community Theatre

College/University

High School/Secondary

Tech Requirements

Flexible

Cast Summary

5f, 5m, 1 non-specific (standard version only), can be expanded to 33+. Any gender can play any role.

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Overview

Matt Cox, creator of Puffs, has written a new play which also happens to involve witches. Witches!? In Salem?! is a darkly comedic, yet (mostly) historically accurate take on the Salem Witch Trials and all the (mostly) historically accurate horrors which may occur when populism runs rampant, injustice is a day to day occurrence, and a rigid religious minority sets the laws of the land. You know, old timey problems. A companion, or an alternative, to a certain other Salem play you probably read in high school.

In the spirit of edu-tainment, Jenny Anne Bishop, an eighth grader who got “way too into her class lesson plan on The Crucible” guides us through all the fun facts from the years leading up to, during, and after the Trials. Meet culprits, victims, and bystanders alike as a village in turmoil comes to life.

Cox delivers a delicious take on pre-American history in the style of Mel Brooks meets Monty Python meets Armando Iannucci. And then there's that ending...you should probably just read it.

**Looking for the shorter, festival length version? Here you go.**

"In Matt Cox’s uproarious comedy titled Witches!? In Salem?!, the infamous events of the Salem Witch trials are hilariously reimagined." - FEARS MAG

Plot

Welcome to Salem Village. 1692. It's a bad time to visit. Here, wealthy landowners want your land, local magistrates want your confession, unpopular reverends want your respect but more importantly your firewood, and everyone wants someone to be punished for something. Meanwhile, several local children try to make sense of a hysteria they find themselves at the center of. Oh! And the newest Salem villagers, the Bloodkravens are here too. They are confused, but not letting it get in their way of having a good time.

An examination of all the circumstances, societal pressures, and most importantly, the people responsible for the Salem Witch Trials.

Script Versions

Witches!? In Salem?!: the standard version.
Witches!? In Salem?! (High School Edition): the full-length version without the literal devil, curse-y bits, and other parts the administration won't like.

Casting

5f, 5m, 1 non-specific (standard version only), can be expanded to 33+. Any gender can play any role.

A NOTE ON CASTING:

Feel free to cast any gender in any role. The suggested doubling used in the original production for 11 actors can be found in the front of the script. Utilize as many actors and mix / match roles to suit your needs.

Roles:

JENNY ANNE BISHOP

An eighth grader who got way too into her class lesson plan on the Crucible. Eventually realizes history’s fun facts may not be so fun.

THOMAS PUTNAM

A conniving, greedy soul who will do what it takes to get what he wants. His plot goes awry immediately, but he does his best to keep up with it throughout the play.

REVEREND PARRIS

A spineless, petty narcissist of a Reverend who cares most about his personal needs, gains, and firewood. He demands a respect no one gives him, at least until he becomes the defacto spiritual leader braving the new discovered evil within the village.

COTTON MATHER

A rigid Puritan minister. A real fire & brimstone type. An author who really needs to sell more pamphlets, and knows how to scare his audience. His dad maybe didn’t hug him enough.

JOHN PROCTOR

A real everyman, leading actor type. Loves a good powerful monologue.

ABIGAIL WILLIAMS

A twelve year old girl who has seen some stuff. Intelligent, perhaps too intelligent for her own good.

BETTY PARRIS

The Reverend’s daughter. Full of confidence and nerves and the proper fear of God.

MARY WARREN

An awkward teenager of the village. She struggles with public speaking and also public accusings of her neighbors of being witches.

ANN PUTNAM JR.

A frightening child - very intense. A bit like she crawled out of a horror movie.

BELLA’LOCH

Your stereotypical witch living her life. Has some concerns about being discovered, but isn’t too worried.

XANATAR

Your stereotypical wizard. Is loving this Salem place.

GOODY GOOD

A messy street vagrant. Loves the sound of her own name.

SARAH DUSTIN

A rather ordinary woman who finds herself on the wrong side of the law.

GOODY BIBBER

A real show biz type. An older woman who joins in on the accusing, realizing that’s a pretty safe way to not be accused.

BRIDGET BISHOP

A village woman who has been through this before. Tired, confused, hoping for the best.

LYDIA DUSTIN

Quick to point fingers. Is always sending thoughts and prayers, and wants everyone to know it.

MARTHA COREY

A gospel woman.

FARMER JOHN #1

A simple farmer with not many opinions.

FARMER JOHN #2

A simple farmer without too many opinions.

FARMER GEORGE

A simple farmer with one concern: farming rye.

REBECCA NURSE

The kindest, oldest woman in Salem. Great at bringing a room full of people together.

REVEREND INCREASE MATHER

An even rigid-er puritan minister. A powerful, commanding presence.

THE MAGISTRATE

An amalgamation of various magistrates, judges, and more. A monster delivering their own form of justice.

DOCTOR GRIGGS

An old doctor who really loves getting paid.

EDWARD BISHOP

A member of the Salem congregation with lots of loud and aggressive opinions.

EPHRAIM WILDES

A constable lacking confidence and conviction. Really wants to get paid above all else, but doesn’t love people being angry at him.

THOMAS PUTNAM SR.

A man on his deathbed, until he isn’t.

GOVERNOR PHIPS

A dandy English gentleman. Not a lot of government experience.

JOSEPH BALLARD

A Massachusetts man who wants to get to the bottom of his wife’s illness and is pretty sure it's witches.

A BOSTONIAN

A Bostonian with a wicked accent and some questions.

WEALTHY BOSTON MAN

A Bostonian with a wicked accent and lots of money.

WEIRD MEMBER OF THE CONGREGATION

A weird member of the congregation. Excited to be able to speak and for people to listen.

SIGN PERSON

A person who holds up a sign. Has strong notions towards the level of applause.

UNNAMED VILLAGER

A villager with some accusations to throw around.

SATAN

Your typical casual immortal being. Doesn’t like that their name is mixed in with this whole Salem thing. SATAN only appears in the standard version, and not in the high school version. You understand.

Press

FearsMag.com

WITCHES!? IN SALEM?! - Review

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Medium

Witches in Salem: Interview with Playwright Matt Cox

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