It's the end of Hamlet, and no one's dead except Claudius. Gertrude swapped out Laertes's poison for honey, and she's just about done with all these dumb boys and their plans. Fortinbras attempts to claim the throne, but starts crying when he realizes everyone is alive and he doesn't get to be king of Denmark. Who will be king? Gertrude waits to see if anyone will remember the kingdom has a queen. They don't. She poisons them all again--this time with a sleeping potion--so they can accept her rule from the dungeons. Except a furious Ophelia and her band of warrior maidens storm the throne room, demanding justice for Polonius' death (like Laertes originally wanted to--remember?) (Did you really think Ophelia drowned in a creek you can stand up in?!?). Ophelia only gets more furious upon seeing her brother lying there unconscious. Ophelia and Gertrude swordfight. Gertrude works in edgewise that she didn't actually kill Laertes and he's only sleeping. Admiring each other's sword skills, Ophelia and Gertrude decide to leave the kingdom to its own mess and go become pirates. Ophelia will come back to duel Hamlet when he's awake, but for now... the high seas await.